Friday, December 23, 2005
football...
I do not understand football on television.
There. I’ve said it.
Don’t get me wrong, I quite like the game. Very entertaining. Especially the part where you holler obscenities at the opposite team, stomp your feet, pick up the ball and slam it into the other guy’s solar plexus. It is a great outlet for pent up anger too. Where else would twenty-two grown up men get to kick each other in the shins and get off calling it sport?
If you’d rather run around the kiddies’ park trying to kick a ball into the nearest hedge growth and in the process slam into a dozen people you could easily have avoided had you been a snitch more coordinated, go ahead. If you find ‘heading’ a projectile between two beams till you get a contre-coup injury gratifying, fine by me.
The smell of fresh air and armpits.
Aah! Nothing could be better!
But what purpose does football on T.V. serve! And why, pray, must I be made to sit through it?!
Believe me when I say I’ve sat through more than my fair share of football matches trying to comprehend the ‘active’ in offside. My guy said he loved football, F1, Metallica and me. I never quite got around to asking him the order. Possibly because of a vague feeling that he, like Jenny, would say ‘alphabetical’ which would land me at the end of the list.
He’d be glued to the telly for days at a stretch during the FIFA matches. Not only for the game but also all the reviews, dissections and highlights of the days play... Gawd!! Highlights are for when you’ve missed the game, not for memorizing it! (This from a person who would invariably start to fidget within the first hour of a movie). The guy would go into spasms of ecstasy each time ‘his team’ scored a goal and would set to work demolishing his nails during the penalty kick even if we were watching a re-telecast…
Yes, I indulged him by watching most matches, for apart from the fact that he ate, slept and dreamt football, 16, as I look back now, was an age I did do quite a few things more because they were the norm than because of any particular liking for them.
There. I’ve said it.
Don’t get me wrong, I quite like the game. Very entertaining. Especially the part where you holler obscenities at the opposite team, stomp your feet, pick up the ball and slam it into the other guy’s solar plexus. It is a great outlet for pent up anger too. Where else would twenty-two grown up men get to kick each other in the shins and get off calling it sport?
If you’d rather run around the kiddies’ park trying to kick a ball into the nearest hedge growth and in the process slam into a dozen people you could easily have avoided had you been a snitch more coordinated, go ahead. If you find ‘heading’ a projectile between two beams till you get a contre-coup injury gratifying, fine by me.
The smell of fresh air and armpits.
Aah! Nothing could be better!
But what purpose does football on T.V. serve! And why, pray, must I be made to sit through it?!
Believe me when I say I’ve sat through more than my fair share of football matches trying to comprehend the ‘active’ in offside. My guy said he loved football, F1, Metallica and me. I never quite got around to asking him the order. Possibly because of a vague feeling that he, like Jenny, would say ‘alphabetical’ which would land me at the end of the list.
He’d be glued to the telly for days at a stretch during the FIFA matches. Not only for the game but also all the reviews, dissections and highlights of the days play... Gawd!! Highlights are for when you’ve missed the game, not for memorizing it! (This from a person who would invariably start to fidget within the first hour of a movie). The guy would go into spasms of ecstasy each time ‘his team’ scored a goal and would set to work demolishing his nails during the penalty kick even if we were watching a re-telecast…
Yes, I indulged him by watching most matches, for apart from the fact that he ate, slept and dreamt football, 16, as I look back now, was an age I did do quite a few things more because they were the norm than because of any particular liking for them.
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